I’m glad that whoever is selling that “One Simple Rule” diet plan bought every possible square inch of advertising space on every single website in the world.

When I check my email, I get to see muffintops. When I read the news, more muffin tops. Sometimes, if I’m really lucky I might get a little mouseover game where I can make the morbidly obese woman’s chin jiggle.

I tell you, there is nothing better. My only concern is that someday the ads telling me about the mom in Nearbytownsville who lost 34 pounds of belly fat by following one simple rule will all dry up. I’m still broken up over the loss of all “Miley Cyrus has an IQ of 83, can you beat her?” ads. To prepare for the potential muffintop free future, I’ve already been collecting screen caps.

I’m praying to God though that when those ads do run there course that the next massive campaign is even better. It will be hard to top, but I’m sure those advertising gurus will find a trump.

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